Be Good or Be Gone

February 25th, 2010

Last night Polly and I went to see Fionn Regan at the ULU in Euston, a musical experience we had been waiting on tenderhooks for ever since first hearing his first album, 'The End of History'.

As usual, Fionn was touring as he had a new album out. Now, i'm not usually such a stubborn puritist but as The End of History was pretty much the only album I can listen to over and over and never get bored, he had a lot to live up to. New album The Shadow of an Empire did not do the job. The difference is kind of comparable to when Dylan went electric, except most of last night it could have been a totally different person on stage from the Regan of 2 years ago. The new songs bear no signs of his immense songwriting talent for light and beautiful compositions. Last night we saw an average, americana-style gig, average lyrics, average songs.

Support came from Danny and the Champions of the World, ok but pretty boring if i'm honest. They then played as Fionn Regan's band for his set, and hidden behind electric guitar and bass, organ and heavy drums, any subtleties his voice has were totally lost.

There were a few highlights when the band left Fionn with the stage to himself, he played songs from the first album: Penny in the Slot and Be Good or Be Gone. The only old song with the band that worked was Underwood Typewriter- with drums and bass that actually complimented the song rather than drowning it. Sadly the same can't be said for Hey Rabbit, which he totally killed. I didn't realise that was possible with your own song.

All in all, the whole affair was a mish-mash of new, noisy, average songs intersected with beautiful acoustic music- like two different musicians were swapping over between songs. Very strange. You were just left wondering why at least even his mother hasn't asked him what the hell he's doing. I'm all for people moving on, developing, pushing themselves, but this is BACKWARD. Fionn Regan has sadly lost the lightness of touch and the depth of lyricism.

I would urge you to seek out The End Of History to listen to, it is a truly wonderful peice of work. But if you like it, don't go for the new stuff, sore dissapointment will follow.

Note: I really hope that with more listening Fionn's new album will grow on me. I hate to feel this decided against something. Oh dear oh dear.

Greenman Festival 2009

After coming to this festival for a few years now, I can assuredly say that it really is my most favourite. Started in 2003 as a one-day, 300 people capacity event, Greenman has evolved into a superb weekend.

Greenman boasts a stunning location in Glanusk Park in the Brecon Beacons, near Abergavenny in Wales. There’s nothing nicer that having a beautiful view of lush greenery and dewey mountains as the backdrop to a vast array of the best in entertainment.

It is an absolute mystery why Greenman doesn’t have to barricade itself against hordes of music fans every year. The beauty of this weekend, once a year, is the understatement and modesty of it all. Greenman just goes along quietly, delighting all that come across it. There’s not another festival in the same league.
Past headliners have included Donovan, Robert Plant, Joanna Newsom, Devendra Banhart, Spiritualized, Super Furry Animals, Pentangle, Animal Collective and Bon Iver, not to mention the cacophony of other acts that play- from the best in new music to classic greats. This year’s line up does not disappoint- Joanna Newsom, Beirut, and Flaming Lips are to top the main stage, joined by Billy Bragg, Fionn Regan and Pete Greenwood to name a few.

The whole festival is set round a stone house and its walled gardens. The main stage is at the bottom of a hill, making a natural amphitheatre and also providing a beautiful backdrop of mountain. Smaller stages are tucked away in walled gardens, making the whole experience really intimate.

The actual festival-goers that frequent Greenman are a pretty nice folk. Generally I find that it’s people who really love music, and being outdoors listening to music, and being with other people. There’s always a lovely train journey up to Abergavenny, the classic shuttle bus to the festival from the station (which is FREE!) and also a great opportunity to meet lots of people. Totally family friendly, student friendly, couple friendly, people who just want to be there friendly, Greenman is super relaxed, super fun and super duper brilliant.

Greenman this year was my favourite yet, like in a dream golden sunlight poured down through the whole weekend, nights were long and days were filled. It was my first time off work since the beginning of summer, and in an exhausted haze I remember Animal Collective beating through the first night- I fell asleep standing up, but happy.
The line-up was excellent, special highlights being aforementioned Animal Collective, Bon Iver, Peggy Sue, Vetiver, Joe Gideon and the Shark, Beach House, Andrew Bird, Golden Animals. (more lineup info on www.thegreenmanfestival.co.uk) I wasn’t disappointed with a single act I chose to go and watch, each one totally different and each one extremely good.

Joe Gideon and the Shark

Other highlights were the Chai Waller tent- hot brandy chais, mulled wine, and extremely quirky live music; and the brilliant idea of showing animations and short films in the mornings for kids and parents. There was also an ‘Einstein’s Garden’, with art, green issues, science and FUN; life drawing classes, and a great children’s area. And if you fancied a break from festival-ing, there are many mountains to trek up, rivers to swim in, or places to walk to. You can now even get a ‘Holiday Ticket’, allowing you to camp in a special section of the festival site for three days before the festival begins- so you can explore the beauty of Abergavenny, or just simply relax.




I would not be one to miss this years festival. For a start, Joanna Newsom’s newly released triple album is astonishing. The chance to see Beirut is a sacred one and live I am sure he will greatly impress. I can’t even begin to imagine what sort of a show Flaming Lips put on. Not to mention all the other bands, the scenery, the sheer holidaying spirit.

Just a few of who's playing:

Joanna Newsom's '81, track from the album 'Have One On Me'.

Beirut's Postcards From Italy.

First Aid Kit- Heavy Storm. These two sisters are just 16 and 19, I can't wait to see them live.


Fionn Regan- Put a Penny in the Slot


Find more information at www.thegreenmanfestival.co.uk

Words- Ali Hewson

Johnny Flynn Interview

I chat to Johnny Flynn and Matt Edmonds about the good life.

If you could be any bird, what bird would you be?
JF: I’d be a sea bird I think. Curlew Is quite good, Oyster Catchers are nice.
Where abouts would you be?
JF: West Wales, definitely. I used to work as a fisherman on this boat, and we used to take people out on trips and do these coastal cruises, and I had to point out all the different seabirds, ganets, things like that. It’s a good thing to know. What would you be? (to Matt)
I’’d want to be a really ugly pigeon.
With like, half a foot?
M:Yep.
JF: That’s in the song.
M: A bit like in the song, but not because of that. I just really like them, because they are so hated, basically. (chortles) I really get a kick out of that.
I wonder what psychologically it is that makes you give that answer.
M: Well it’s because I had an experience with an ugly pigeon, and that’s why I’d want to be an ugly pigeon.
JF: I had a thing with pigeons once, I had to be one in drama school for a term. I had to go and watch them all the time to study them.
I was a crow once in a nativity play.
M: Confused nativity play.
JF: I’m not familiar with that version…
I wasn’t either. It was a strange cross between the nativity story and Noah’s Ark. I had two different roles- a crow and an angel.
M: They asked was it in Luke or Matthew…neither, the crow.
I just think it was one of those school branching out plays. Too many kids, not enough parts.
M: I was an old lady in the nativity play, so…
JF: There we go.
M: There we go.
Inn keepers wife?
M: No, it was a sort of ‘shoot to modern times’ section because again there were too many kids for the parts.
You can’t really have five baby Jesus’s.
M: Exactly.
Did you used to fish on the fishing boat?
JF: Yeh.
I like fishing.
JF: Me too.
I once caught a conga eel, in Devon. My mum and I went deep sea fishing over a wreck. We weren’t really strong enough to reel the eel in, so all these burly fishermen came to help, but once we’d got it out of the water i snapped the line. Then immediately afterwards a man on the next boat caught it and reeled it in, and it was roving around all over the deck, which made me pretty glad I didn’t catch it.
M: He caught it off your work, really.
He did, he did. I got it tired.
M: What’s the best thing you’ve ever caught, Johnny?
JF: I’ve caught quite a few sharks.
Really?
JF: Yeh. Just like, dogfish.
Was the boat just for tours, or was it a proper fishing boat, fishing to sell.
Jf: Well it was built for lobster potting and trawling, but we used to take people out on little mackerel fishing trips, which was nice, except I felt sorry for the mackerel. We’d usually catch a hundred on a trip.
And then they didn’t get eaten?
JF: Well they’d take them home but I doubt they’d all get eaten.
Have you ever tried Pollock?
JF: Yes, but it’s not that good to eat though.
Maybe I’m thinking of the wrong one, it’s a white-fleshed fish, kind of like cod but sweeter.
JF: Well I don’t think I’ve ever actually tried eating a Pollock, but everyone says it’s not good eating, a bit muddy.
Well they don’t know what’s what then…
M: They’re all cod fans. They’ve got a fan club.
JF: Ras is good.
M: Monkfish is my favourite fish.
This is just reminding me of Christmas now. My mum used to think of a topic, and the last time we did it the topic was fish, and you have to make pun jokes using fish names.
M: Oh yeah.
Kind of on the subject of fishing boats, how important do you think it is to have a home?- there’s lots of imagery in your songs about not having one. Do you think it’s just a mental thing?
JF: Well for me I guess why the idea of homes and people without homes might be a theme for me is because I never really had any particular attachment to a particular place to call my home. In some ways I have always felt kind of lucky because of that. I’ve always related to people who have been all about the fact that they are their own home, that they are carving their way in the world in that sense, and that that’s all you need. But then again home is obviously a really nice thing.
I think that you can have a home and it feel just as unsettled as if you didn’t.
JF: Yeah you can.
M: I think there’s a difference with having a space in which you settle. I’m very much a settler rather than a traveller. I find touring quite hard because it’s unsettled.
You could think of it like a big holiday?
M: (chortles) It is with these guys around. I find it hard, even if I move to a place and it doesn’t feel like home, I like that centre, that settled centre. I think that’s just the difference in who people are.
Do you think when people live a nomadic lifestyle out of choice that they always believe in it?
M: I think you can romanticise about it, but I also think it’s a real mixture of motives.
JF: I quite like always being on the move in a sense, but I’ve been feeling more and more of a pull to home, my girlfriend lives in London, and I have friends there and stuff, so I do kind of miss that. But I think it’s really important to go out and learn about yourself by being on your own. It’s not really the same thing travelling with work or touring with a band or something, you don’t get as much from that as from just heading off on your own and just being with yourself, that’s quite important.
M: We also have things that centre us that aren’t physical- music, certain songs that are repeated wherever we are.
JF: On tour, doing the same thing every night we can judge ourselves by what we do-
M: Yes that’s true.
JF: By doing the same songs and the same show in different places, being together all the time.
Atmosphere can make you feel at home. If I remember back to my childhood it would be lots of food, walks on the beach, lots of adults, and lots of conversation. And I don’t have that at home anymore, but if I go to a place where that is it immediately feels nostalgic.
JF: Yes, you gravitate to places that have that. I have places that I go to that are like that…friends houses.
M: It’s weird, I felt really homely like that in Wales, on that day off we had.
JF: Yeah, that's the place I was talking about. We had a day off and we went to the mountains in Snowdonia, where my girlfriend has a cottage.
Lucky her.
JF: It was just really cosy.
M: It was just generally a great day.
JF: We climbed a mountain, just…didn’t we.
M: We crawled up the mountain.
I’ve only been to Wales once, for Greenman Festival. Would really like to go again though, it’s beautiful.
JF: Yeah, I’m big on Wales.
M: Yeah.
I met someone on the way back who was going to live on a permaculture farm in Wales, that sounded like a good idea.
JF: My brother’s basically setting up a community in Wales like that. Just helping the community, being self sustainable, they’re kind of going off grid, using solar power, all that sort of stuff.
I so want to have a farm. I’ve never been there but we were thinking New Zealand, for the whole beach, mountains, forest, farmlands sort of thing. So we could have a vineyard and a farm, a cow called Smicheal…
M: Peter Smicheal?
JF: Alright Smicheal.
It’s a pretty funny name. I’m reading this book at the moment called ‘The Young Fur Traders’ by RM Ballantyne, it was written in the 1800s and is about living and hunting as a fur trader in North America; in terms of the theme of permaculture, do you think soon it would be possible to go back to living like that, or do you think we’re just going to sink into some sort of urban decay?
JF: I have a lot of faith in that lifestyle. Communities coming together and doing their own thing. I kind of believe that that’s the only way humanity is going to survive- if enough people offset what’s going on. There’s a really great novel, Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell, have you read that?
I haven’t, but someone I met last night was telling me about it- all the stories link together?
JF: Yeah they kind of pick up and all project into the future, it’s like a big pyramid of time.

He kind of predicts a future where it all breaks down, and then that happens, basically. It’s really cool.
M: I think there’ll need to be a huge shock, like HUGE. Because we sort of have experienced a pretty massive shock and no-ones really done much.
JF: I’m big on 2012 and all that kind of thing, that whole breakdown.
What’s 2012?
JF: It’s a Myan prophecy, well loads of prophecies, it’s an astrological alignment…some people think it’s going to be the end of the world, but I think it’s going to be a realisation. It’s already happening, the banks breaking down and stuff, everything’s all…(trails off).
I think I came to the conclusion, before I decided I wanted to do the farm, is that literally all I want in life is good company. I think if you have that then…
M:You don’t need much else.
I mean, you’d probably have down days, short on food, or whatever, but essentially you’re with good people. I couldn’t live a hermit’s life. Like in this book, just one person lives alone on an outpost hunting bears by a river.
M:I think you do need that space though as well. For me community involves a sense of individuality and the space to be yourself.
Well if you’re with the right people you’ll give each other that space.
M:Completely. There are times when you really need your own space but I think that can be involved in a community model.
I find that when you’re really really alone you go through a kind of relationship with yourself, all one sided. And it goes through much quicker and much more intensely, and then you suddenly find something out about yourself.
JF: Those cycles of realisation.
It’s kind of like if you don’t see someone very often, and you write letters instead, everything becomes much more intense, because you are your thoughts’ only company.
Or writing songs…in a vague attempt to round this in and link it.
JF: Definitely. Any kind of artistic persuit.
Do you write songs to yourself?
JF: Yeah, it’s therapy.
M:It’s quite nice, I hadn’t really thought about it in that term- you as the audience for your own song. It’s quite a nice thought.
JF: It’s quite hard the first time that you know your song is going to be heard by people. There’s a lot of ‘oh shit, I have to get rid of that idea’.
M:I remember practising with you for the first time, you had an incredible amount of like…
JF: Anxiety.
M:About it being public.
I liked your lyric about only writing to someone what you can whisper in their ear. I guess it could be the same in a song, if you can’t say it to the person that you’re thinking about, then…unless you’re singing the song to them.
JF: That’s to do with the protected image that people have of themselves, without necessarily actually being in a relationship, or what’s real of here and how, and people lose themselves in projected fantasies that can’t actually have any kind of fruition in the moment. And people lose each other and themselves in that process of hoping too much- not even hoping too much, because some hope’s really good, but…
I think you definitely get that in letter writing.
JF:I had a relationship with a girl, and it was all about that, about a pedestal that she, or probably we, put ourselves on, and then it all just fell down because it wasn’t real.
That’s pretty crap. It can be ok for a little bit, but,

JF: Yeah it’s great staying for a little while, whilst you believe it.
M: It’s amazing.
I think if you come away from it having learnt something then that’s good.
JF: you definitely learn.
I’ve been talking to people lately and realising they don’t actually listen to lyrics, and thinking about how music reviews often sound like the writer hasn’t listened to the music at all…
JF: Yeah, yeah I always think that.
M: It’s always that ‘this person meets this person’ description.
People need something to relate it to,
M: But there are other methods of doing that than relating it to other musicians
You can relate it to things outside of music. And I think people use the music they listen to so often to communicate feelings to others. Do you always feel, when writing songs, that the music matches the lyrics, do you ever feel you compromise on either side- or do you feel like you achieve the whole feeling?
JF: I think you’d probably be quite disappointed, and a lot of the magic would go out of creating stuff, if you weren’t as constantly surprised by what you’d done. And also, I think you have to know if you’re writing songs or making music that people project their own feelings on to. If you’re a painter, or you write a novel or something, the same thing happens. People have their own unique atmosphere.
Well that comes from whether you’re doing it for yourself or you’re doing it for an audience.
JF: I have my own feelings about songs, in the same way I have feelings about all songs and atmosphere that it’s evoked. But I’m really happy if people also have their own thing, because I’m not in their head, I don’t have any experience of their lives.
It’s totally different for everyone.
I’m usually like ‘wow, these words plus this music’, it makes something that doesn’t deduct from the words or music alone. One of the new songs that we played tonight, the second one, the melody and the chord changes came from another song that I was trying to write but it was kind of failing, because the words were kind of sending up the melody. And then I tried some other words with it, and it immediately went ‘kuhhh!’. The original song was kind of like a comedy, and then the new one felt really serious, which was more like what it should be.
I find it funny, because I have songs that I listen to that mean so much to me because of the feeling of the music and the meaning of the words, but the you’ll play it to someone and they won’t take in the same things.
M: I’m always a melody person- always take in the music first. I come back for the lyrics and it builds up the tension just as well.
JF: With some people I listen out for the words, but just because I know to do that with their music.
For me sometimes just parts of the lyrics come out all joined up with the music, then as you listen to it more they all come out properly.
M: I also think that the rhythmical nature of a word or phrase can really have an impact, I love that.
JF: I was talking to Jeremy Warmesly, and he was saying he has a whole method for the way he buys an album. For him it’s like breakfast. Put some toast in the toaster, butter… The first time he plays an album he has to put it on in the background whilst he’s reading a book, then the next time he actually actively listens to it. But I can’t listen to music when I’m reading, or trying to write, or doing anything with words.
I know what he means, because that would help you get used to the tunes.
JF: I thought it was pretty interesting. It’s nice that that’s what he does- processes it subconsciously and then listens to it and gets and appreciation for the words.
I can’t imagine actually getting a CD and planning to do that.
JF: You should meet Jeremy.(chortles)
I just put it on and walk off somewhere, leave it playing in the atmosphere of the house.
Just one more question then. I really liked what you did with the album, using the fan art in it, how important do you think it is to be able to use something that you create and put out to showcase other people?
JF: I think it’s really important. It’s a karmic thing. If you’re given a gift of a situation where you have been offered to present something that you’ve done I think, if you feel it, it’s your responsibility to help other people. I was always given a foot up by other people. I started out gigging, I used to play in loads of bands, and I used to play with Emmy The Great, I used to play fiddle for her, and she’d always give me a slot before her gigs, ‘this is Johnny, he’s going to play some songs’. So it’s a cool thing to do I think, if you’re in the position to do that.
I find it really intriguing how it’s growing up so organically it seems- all the bands and musicians you’re connected with at the moment. Do you think people will look back on that in 20, 30 years time and see the progress, see it happening as something really good?
It is really good, yeah. But I don’t know. We’re all just trying to get on. I think we know it’s good, we have a really good time and I really love everyone who I am friends with who are doing it, most of them I knew before they wer eplaying music, like Emma, I was at school with.
You need friends who will inspire you, where you can bounce off each other.
Definitely, yeah. You get these little pockets of people doing stuff, and it sustains itself but it has to come out, because everyone’s having such a good time, and it’s just such a good thing, so it comes out and feeds something, feeds back to itself. It’s cool, it’s really nice.

Interview & Words- Ali Hewson

Dinosaur Pile Up Interview

We talk plane crashes to MP expenses. Super.

M=matt

T=tom

S=steve

P=Polly

A=Ali

A:Did dinosaurs eat grass?
Steve: NO! Because grass hadn’t evolved then.
Matt: But there was some in Jurassic Park?
S: Jurassic Park isn’t real.
Tom: Steve’s a dinosaur expert.
A:Do you know how many types of dinosaur there are?
S: No, we should read up.
A:700! And about 128 have been found in England.
M: Wow.
S: I didn’t actually know that.
P: They found a woolly mammoth in the cliffs at West Runton.
M: What, just walking around?
P: Yep
S: They found a woolly mammoth with hairs on it and got its DNA
M: That’s amazing.
P: Right. Proper questions.
A: If you could go to school in any place and any time in history, where and when would you go?
S: I’d have gone in ancient Greece. The Greeks had a style.
T: No, Rome.
M: I’d have thought you’d have said you’d have gone in Medieval times. Tom’s obsessed with medieval history.
S: I would have like to have seen Athens.
M: I would have been an Inca child. They were way more advanced and out there.
T: Didn’t they have lots of disappeared temples?
M: Brutal but technologically brilliant.
P: Did they have iPods?
M: Yep. They invented the iPod.
A: If you went back in time to a corrupt police force (like in Ashes to Ashes what we had just been talking about) would you join in the corrupt if you thought it could get you back to the future, or would you FIGHT?
T: That’s a difficult one.
S: I’d love to say I’d fight the good fight, but I dunno…
M: There’s a danger of death in fighting the bad fight.
A: Well the corrupt police officer came back from the future and shot his good younger self and framed the good lady police officer for murder. And the leader of the police who was really corrupt shot himself.
M: Either way, we’re going to get shot aren’t we?
T: But I think if you had a time machine you’d be ace at everything.
P Yeahs.
A: I had to ask that one to make this next question more connected to school. Yehhh flow.
If zombies invaded the world, would you join them, or run away and hide, or fight them, or none.
T: FIGHT THEM!
S: I’d choose none, it’s obviously the easiest.
M: What is none?
A: That’s for you to use your initiative on.
M: You’d just have to keep moving, like in 28 Days later. I’d lock all the doors and live in the kitchen.
P: I was thinking that a supermarket would be a good place.
T: No! It’s too big to man. You’d have fights over food…and where would you find your weapon??
M: What would you take with you if you had to leave? I think I’d just grab a kitchen knife and go.
T: I’d take a tent. And a knife. But no clothes. But my iPod. And I’d have to do the four pocket check… I’m a bit OCD about forgetting my keys, but then I’d set off.
M: Other than the kitchen knife, I’d bring a mic stand, because it’s a heavy bit of metal. Then get in the van and run away without you. Actually…I may wait for you, we need man power. And then I’d probably go to the lake district and call Steve when we were halfway there because we’d forgotten him.
S: We’ve had loads of practise fighting zombies on Call of Duty.
M: I dunno what the fuck you’d do, I’d ring you and tell you to get the fuck to my house.
S: I’d be fine, I’d just mingle in with them.
A:If you were given the choice of gills or wings, which would you choose?
M&S: WINGS!!!!
T: What? Oh. Gills? Oh maybe wings actually.
S: Wings would be better for a daily basis, although I would like to go to the bottom of the sea. A:Did you know more people have been to the moon than have been to the bottom of the sea?
M: That old fact.
T: What about both, there was that film with the flying piranhas…
M: Like that brilliant brilliant monster movie with a monster in a river. It starts of all little then gets massive.
T: Shit happens.
M: Is the evolution thing fact of theory?
P: Fact, unless you’re crazy.
M: I was just wondering, because you know there’s some things that you know are true, and some are ‘proven’…it’s proven but it’s not.
A: If you could only ever go on one flight again ever where would you go?
T: I’d say somewhere exotic but I’ve never been so I don’t know what it would be like. But I went to Sicily recently and it was amazing, so I’d say there.
M: I’d go to Vancouver. Where would you go to Steve, Bradford?
S: No, I’d go to India.
T: But you don’t like pooing though so it would be really awkward for you. You get lots in India, everyone gets pooey problems. Just to warn you.
M: I don’t want you to ring me when I’m in Vancouver just to moan about your poo.
T: It’s alright, I’d be in Sicily so could come rescue you in my fishing boat. You could just poo over the side for two weeks.
M: Two weeks? It would take about four months to get from Italy to India…
S: It would be fine, I could have sex with all the merladies along the way.
A: BUT how do you have sex with a mermaid?
S: It depends which end is a fish doesn’t it?
T: Yeah Steve would like that, a nice big fish head.
S: I’m going to get nasty with all the gills.
M: That’s the wrongest thing I’ve ever heard.
T: I love fish, I’m a big sea life fan. Not in the way Steve likes fish though.
M: Talking of planes, I haven’t watched much news recently but I just heard about the vanishing plane…
P: Ah we have a question about that!
A: If you were in a plane that vanished of the face of the sky , what would you like to think would happen?
M: I’d already imagined what I thought had happened as soon as I heard the news. You know how aliens could be strategically monitoring everything and occasionally steal people for tests…well that was one of them. They zapped it.
T: I’d like to be blown up instantly so I don’t know about it, rather that falling for like 4 minutes.
S: Apparently drowning is quite euphoric after the initial pain.
T: Yeah but you wouldn’t drown because you’d be dead as soon as you hit the water, it would be like falling off the Eiffel Tower onto concrete.
M: It’s horrible.
A: All they’ve found of the plane is a seat and some oil.
P: And some debris 35 miles away, but no people.
T: eerrrrghhhhhhhh horrid.
A: What is your favourite childhood memory?
M: Oh shit I dunno. When does childhood go up to?
T: This is going to sound really shit and cliché but for me it’s the first time I got drunk. We were in a skatepark and it was a lovely day in the sun. We all decided just to sit and get drunk. I thought I was too scared but then I did it and it was really nice. I think I believed that I was flying.
S: I think mine was that I had this friend who’s family were millionaires, and his dad was normally really strict but went away for 6 months of the year and his mum just let us get away with murder and we had loads of fun playing in the house.
M: I think mine was spending time in the country with my best friend and sometimes his brother.
A: If you want something, but all the immediate signs say you can’t have it, should you admit defeat, or FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT?
M: Always fight for it.
T: If you give up, it’s a bit weird.
M: Yeah, you could say that to troops in battle.
A: Right, this next question is a bit crap but it needs to be here for us to ask the next question. What is your rock and roll?
M: As in a metaphor for something good? Being in love.
T: This is going to sound really cliché, but going to gigs with my girlfriend, even if the music’s bad.
A: If you could have any roll in the world, what would you put in it?
S: I’d have a cheeseburger.
T: I’d put an entire roast dinner in my roll.
A: Isn’t that just a hog roast roll?
M: So you could have anything in the world and you chose a hogroast?! If there were really no boundaries I’d put an ENTIRE pizza in mine.
T: I wouldn’t care, as long as there was no mayo in it, because that’s the only thing I really hate. And mushrooms. Oh, and cucumber.
M: So that’s THE only thing…mayo…AND mushrooms…AND cucumber…
A: If you could colour anywhere in the world what would you colour?
T: Steve goes out a lot, and when he goes on a bender he literally looks green. So I’d colour him a rosy complexion.
S: I’d colour in Milton Keynes. Because I hate it, I’d love to give it a really good paint job.
M: I’d colour in the sea. I’d love to see a yellow sea.
A:In the current environmental situation, would you rather be a Polar Bear- beautiful and strong but the death of your species is imminent; or a grizzly bear who is more common and less shiny but not going to die?
M: I feel that we are the grizzly bears of the music world; we’re not as beautiful as other bands, but we shall climb the music tree.
A:If you were an MP, what expenses would you claim?
T: Oooo, economic climate questions.
S: NONE because I’m a man of the people.
T: If I had to claim anything, I’d claim a bed.

A:Just a bed?
S: I heard that an MP claimed back £5 he’d given to charity.
T: That’s really bad.
P: I’d claim a hot air balloon.
M: A guitar?
T: You bastard pleasure man.

Interview- Ali Hewson and Polly O'Shea; Words- Ali Hewson

Bedouin Soundclash Interview

If you went on a sea voyage and discovered an uninhabited island, what would you call it?
Everyone should have an answer to that.
Just in case.
I think I might call it America.
(chortle chortle) Very modest.
Yeah I know. I’m not from the states so… Well maybe I’d call it something new.
There’s New York, New Orleans, there’s a bunch of Birmingham’s and stuff…
New Sheffield?
I’d call it New Norwich. Just because of this question.
Alright, we’ll honour you to that, if you ever find one.
If I do. Well I have to say I’ve been surfing quite a bit recently.
What animals would you integrate into the island, or what would you like to be on there already?
Like what kind of eco system would I prefer?
Yeah.
Umm, I think I’d like it to be northern. Like, Northern BC. Maybe some grizzly bears. Maybe a Kodiak. (Sounds enthused). Yeah, maybe a Kodiak.
So kind of like Canada then?
Yeah it would probably be like the Tundra. (laughs)
With the boots, and the big coats…
We’d all wear Uggs. (dissolves into laughter) That’s awesome. We’d be kind of out of style but we’d be happy.
That’s the most important thing.
We’d be happy because that’s originally what they’re meant to be for, right?
The boots? Yeah.
Or maybe for like, after you surf?
You could buy them cheap off eBay. Then it wouldn’t fuel the consumerism quite so much because they’d be recycled.
We’d buy used ones, yeah.
P: They’re really expensive to buy new.
Are people still like…I saw loads of them in the mall today. People love them. I like boots.
P: I’ve never tried them but they’re meant to be really comfy.
A: They don’t look that comfy.
Your boots are very cool (to Polly)
P: £15!!
Really? I should buy some. I think we’d have a different fan base if we did that though. These are kind of Inuit? (Ali’s boots. We are taking boot turns.)
A: They’re from Peru.
Oh Peruvian, ok. That makes a lot more sense.
A: My mum’s friend thought they were good and wanted some. I had to tell him they were quite distinctly woman’s boots. (chortle)
I don’t know, maybe he’s got an odd style.
He wears a bit of leather, and big rock belts.
Oh really?
A: They might not really match.
I think they’d look good on him. On a lovely guy.
(Lady pops head round door. “Hello” says lady. “Hello”. The lady leaves.)
We just say hello to each other every so often.
Just to check we’re not killing you. We’re going to have to put pictures of our shoes in now to explain all of that. And yours. Except they’re not boots…
What are they? A pair of vans I think…
(Polly is struck by sudden inspiration.)
P: You should get a silver metallic pen and draw on them.
(general guffaws)
I should do that.
You could draw on some polar bears.
Polar bears are vicious though.
But they do look nice.
Yeah, well…In the coke commercials they all look really nice (chuckles) But they will destroy you.
They’re Father Christmas’ friends
P: No they’re not, Reindeers are.
Both of them are. Surely he can have a wide social group.
Santa Claus is friends with all the animals in the North.
Right. What would you build on your island?
Hmm. This is all going back to the island hey?
Yep.
Well, I’ve already decided I’m in the Tundra, so freeze-thaw issues mean that it’s really hard to build on solid foundations. So all the housing would have to be above the ground, on stilts. It’s sort of limiting in that way…I probably couldn’t built much of a city or anything.
What about tree houses?
I think I’d probably make myself a really large log cabin. Something really environmentally unfriendly.
You could make one of those cities in the trees. (I continue to push the tree idea. It’s a dream.)
That’s true, like Robinson Crusoe.
Yeah, all connected by little bridges.
Maybe I’ve changed my mind. I think I might rather be in The Jungle Book. Friends with the Amazon.
You could befriend all the panthers and monkeys. But what about the wolves!
They’re in the Tundra.
I think you should do half and half.
P: But Mowgli was raised by wolves.
I feel like we’re doing a really really un-educating National Geographic…
(Mahahaaaaa)
Changing the tangent slightly, what music would you play on the Island?
Ah! Klezmer.
(this comes out as sounding like a flemmy gag)
(hearty laughs) What what!?
Ahahaa. Klezmer music. K.L.E.Z.M.E.R.
Is that like the Jewish dance music?
It’s a Jewish folk music.
Yeah I know what you mean. Do you know the band Klezka!?
Klezka?
They do a cover of the James Bond theme.
In Klesmer?
Yep. It’s pretty good.
It’s like the rage in all the Bar mitzvah’s this year. All the kids, when they turn thirteen, go nuts to the James Bond Klesmer. (chortle) I’ll check that out.
Right. Back to the island. What would you do on it to stop the detrimental effects of human life on it, if there were any?
OH um. Well how many people are living there?
That’s your choice.
This is an island, right? It’s an island that is a tundra? An Arctic Tundra… (laughy)
Well, given that no one lives in some of the Arctic Tundra, I think I’d probably be alone. I think I’d probably be trying to convince people to come to my area. That saying, my island is unaffected by anything except my own self, right?
Yeah. Once you were there and had built all your stuff.
Well, I’d make sure that I only ate two polar bears a month. Only two.
And bred them.
The population’s about 400 right now.
P:You can’t eat polar bear’s livers.
Why’s that?
P:It will kill you.
Ok. So we’ll also remember not to do that. And then whoever’s committed a crime on the island will have to eat a polar bear’s liver.
P: It’s the same with dog livers.
Well if you think about it, liver is one of the worst…
Does it contain all the toxins?
Liver is great for iron.
P: It’s ok in vegetarian animals, because they don’t eat…
Ok well if you’re going to eat liver…
P: I’m a vegetarian.
I’ve never eaten liver before either. It looks really gross.
It tastes like a toilet.
It is a toilet. The body’s way of flushing out.
P: It’s filled with toxins and horrible stuff. Especially in polar bears because they eat lots of other animals so get all their toxins too.
Yeah they eat tons of seals.
They’re all oily.
That’s good oil, probably.
Ship oil?
We’d also use every part of the animal. We’d learn a lot about animals, so that’s the main point of my tundra…”let’s learn about it”.
You could illustrate a book, write some songs…
Yeah, and we’d have cameras.
All of these things. Maybe some sculptures? Could you happily live away from society, in your own tundra?
No. I would hate it. I wouldn’t be able to stand it actually.
Creatively…musically wise, do you think you’d find it hard to find things to respond to? Or do you think you’d quickly adapt to your surroundings?
I think I’d probably start making music like Bjork or Sigur Ros.
P:I think it would be crazier than that.
Especially if you were in a half tundra half jungle.
I think I’d make really washy musical landscapes. Because nothing would happen for days and then a polar bear would try and attack you and then there’d be a crazy bit.
The refrain.
Hell break maybe.
P: It’s kind of what we do.
You guys make music like that?
No.
(chortle)
Oh.
P: We just get bored, dress up and sing songs about Freud and bus drivers.
Freud? Nice. Incest. It’s the natural thing.
Does your interest in reggae have anything to do with the principles behind its origins?
I think that our interest in that music is purely from a sound point of view; we just listened to it and thought it really connected to us. I don’t particularly respond to Rastafarianism, or whatever that was in the 70s. I think that it’s like the blues, you can still understand what they’re talking about whether or not…blues and jazz still affects musicians today, and kids today, even though the form of it is more or less dead- unless you do something new with it. Reggae is so international as a musical format. I wouldn’t say I understood it in the way that say, black youth did in the late 70s and early 80s with the whole two tone thing in England. But then again I don’t think that the Beatles really understood Chubby Checkker, I think they really killed twist and shout. You know? So it’s a catch 22. Experience and emotion go hand in hand, but also, at the same time how could a bunch of kids in England respond to rock and roll without being American? I think it’s exciting that they did. That’s what always makes music exciting- the exchange of ideas that way. Going a bit outside of what you know, and because you’re excited about something that maybe you don’t know. That way of being really engaged and doing something always seems to have been the driving force in the past 50 years with all musical forms, whether it was punk rock or…
Sometimes you get just weird mixes of all the influences from everything.
Yeah yeah, I’d say that we’re a band that came together as a result of our interests in a lot of different types of music; mainly reggae, I mean that was how we started, but we don’t really come from a scene of disenfranchised youth that were into reggae. (chortles)
You said before that you like to tell a lyrical story- do you think that compared to older music, modern music succeeds that in how it’s developed?
Do you mean in pop songs?
Well, across the board lyrics are often more of a social commentary like…“I went and bought some chips”, rather than relaying almost timeless experiences of different emotions.
I think that’s only in England. I find that amazing when I come here. Mundane lyrics seem to be really popular at certain times, like talking about spaghetti Bolognese somehow gives a hit song… (Laughs) No one would know what you were talking about in the States. There seems to be an obsession in the UK amongst indie bands with coming from some really bland 9-5 situation, or like, you have to be poor…or something like that. Not all bands, I think Bloc Party are a great band and they don’t talk about that.
(Phone rings out led zeppelin’s d’yer mak’er)
I was just telling Steve from…you know the band Hot Hot Heat?
You’ve just been on tour with them haven’t you?
Yeah. We were saying that D’yer Mak’er has one of the best snare sounds. And that was well before The Clash started.
Did you know it started as a parody of reggae, because Bonzo used to get teased about not being able to play in reggae time, then it ended up as more of a fifties parody. There’s also a parody of James Brown on that album.
It’s funny that Led Zeppelin should be parodying a black artist, because their whole career’s been based on ripping blues guitarists off. (Laughs) I don’t know if that’s a bit mad. But it seems a pretty ballsy thing to do.
On your side project, Pirate’s Blend, I heard that you’re going to do a collaboration with Bad Brains?
Oh yeah, we already have done. But we’re not sure when it’s going to get released, because Darryl is a lazy man.
You could record it on mix tapes and hand them out.
I will do whatever it takes. I’ve sent him bottles of tequila…
That’s not going to help! He’s just going to get wasted. (chortle)
I’m just trying to get him going, get him motivated. Hopefully it will be out soon.
P: You could give him some speed.
(Looks enthused) Speed would be good. (Laughs to self) I don’t know what it will sound like though if he was on speed. It could end up sounding like some happy hardcore or something, that would be cool.
Or 15 songs all squashed into a minute of sound. That seemed to be quite an interesting collaboration…who else would you like to work with in the future?
It just depends on how people know us; I mean we’re only interested in working with people if they want to work with us. We’re not going to be like ‘hey let’s go and do a track with Kanye West’.
P: That would be interesting though…
Yeah, he’s a crazy fucking guy. We’ve talked about doing a lot of stuff. We were with Andy Summers from The Police one night and talked about doing a track with him…
I can see that working, probably because your influences are quite similar.
Yeah. And Buchi Bansin is another person we’ve been speaking with about a track. A lot of the artists that I love I think are over the hill now and wouldn’t be good to work with. I think going in the studio with Lee Scratch Perry would have been really cool. He’s fucking nuts.
Do you read many books?
I wouldn’t consider myself as a reader, but I have read a book in my time.
A book?
I read a book once.
Was it the book you wrote about the animals in the tundra?
I wrote it myself and then I read it. (hearty guffaws all round)
I’ve been reading A Passage to India, and there’s a quote from it that kind of states the obvious but it reiterates the point I was trying to make at some point…
“The world, he believed, is a globe of men who are trying to reach one another and can best do so by the help of good will plus cultural intelligence”.
Do you think that that’s all it takes to reach other people?
I think you need understanding. You also need bombs. You can really make a serious point with bombs.
Well it depends if you really have them or not.
It’s more effective if the other people don’t have them, you can get YOUR point across a lot better. So, with weapons, I think that everyone would start listening to me. But if you’re talking about something more harmonious, like true understanding, I think you need a lot of compassion, patience, those are key. I think music’s a great example of that because it does bring out the humanity in people. You can listen to things from around the world…and even if people hate the Russians, I mean when you listen to TATU, you think ‘my god. These people are beautiful’. (chortles) I just love love songs.
What would you say the best love song off their latest album was?
From TATU’s album?
Do you have it?
I think ‘You’re Not Gonna Get it’…we were on CDUK when they were on. I feel sorry for them. They’ve been pimped. They have some massive dude behind them being like ‘get the fuck on stage and act like a lesbian’. It’s a shame. But at the same time they do create beautiful love music.

Ps. Did you know you can cut away two thirds of your liver and it will grow back? It’s a remarkable organ.

Interview- Ali Hewson & Polly O'Shea; Words Ali Hewson

Jaymay Interview

Did it feel like a big compromise when you moved from New York to London for the record label?
Umm, no, because I’m on tour, I don’t really feel like I’m stationary. Like I would use the very to move really. I never really toured this frequently before. Since I moved over in April I’ve seriously been touring like crazy. Before that tour in April I hadn’t really been touring. So I didn’t really feel like I was compromising, I just felt really lucky about all this exposure abroad.
You’ve played with loads of people over here- José Gonzales, Bright Eyes, Teddy Thompson, and now Nouvelle Vague…must have been quite good…
Yeah, it’s great, it’s crazy. Every show is so different, the dynamics, the bands themselves. Nouvelle Vague and Bright Eyes are just so different, you know it’s just so unpredictable. I’m just like ‘oh ok I’m on tour, it’s good.’
Quite a diverse mix.
So diverse, yeah.
If you were to create your own city, obviously you can tell through your songs that you love New York…
Yeah.(laughs) Well I also wrote all the songs in New York.
Yeah I suppose that helps. Which aspects of New York and London (if any) would you put in your own city and why?
I would definitely put the free museums that are in London in my city, I would put the Thames and Central Park- probably side by side somehow. What’s the name of the big ferissy wheel thing?
The London Eye?
Yeah, that would be in my city. Big Ben would be in my city. Ladbrooke Grove…basically all I know from Van Morrisson’s songs, like Notting Hill Gate and everything would have to go in. I really like Notting Hill Gate. And the subway of New York would be in my city, not the tube. I would put particular venues in my city, like this one, with the church. I would put particular venues in my city, not even to play in, just to have. Churches. But I wouldn’t have moniters, just acoustic. I would really like to play here just solo in the middle of the room with no mike or anything.
It is a brilliant venue. What would be good about your city for the people who lived in it?
This is just a city I’m imagining- it doesn’t have to function realistically?
No.
Well everything would be free I guess. There would be a lot of music and a lot of books. There would probably e a huge library
With no fees.
Yeah, no late fees! I really love New York, I wouldn’t really change it too much. Just that the museums would be free. London is great but I definitely favour New York, there’s no question about it.
Do you think you’ll move back there? Did you have to come over here because of the label?
Well I’m just touring so much- I would never trade this opportunity. Just the fact that everything is so close- France, Italy, Ireland, Scotland…Eventually I want to end up in New York in my own apartment, because I never really had the money or the time to. Even when I was living in New York I wasn’t stationary, just couch sitting. So it would be nice to finally have my own place. Maybe one day. Also London’s really expensive. REALLY expensive. I think in my city I’ll have everything in pounds. It would be nice to be paid in pounds, because the dollar’s so weak. (Points to drawing) This is me on a train reading J.D. Salinger. I’m one of those people who reads him obsessively. Or Paul Auster. I like him too. Those headphones are just for noise cancellation, I’d have no music playing. Just to block out all sound. (At your happiest picture)
Back to the city, would you have a mix of stuff going on, keep it diverse?
It would be totally diverse. I wouldn’t really want to change the cities too much- all the bad shit that happens I would take away but in terms of the culture and diversity I wouldn’t want to take anything away at all.
Do you think we should strive to change our environments to make ourselves happier? And would it be an act of selfishness or generosity?
Selfishness or generosity to strive to make it better? How would that be selfish?
Well if you’re striving to make it better for yourself, and it could touch other people but not many…if you strive to change something do you have to think of everyone?
I think if people work on themselves, and work on making their lives better- even just making themselves happier people- I think the way your mood is affects people even when you’re just walking down the street, so if people worked on themselves more, as a result everything else would start to change. The dynamics of the city as a whole would start to change. I don’t think it’s selfish to primarily just focus on yourself.
Me neither.
No of course not.
Your music connects to people who listen to it, even though it’s so personal to you- your album is very very personal in the lyrical content, would you change that?
No, I think it reaches people because the emotions I’m experiencing are universal- heartache, and also I’m really affected by the seasons, Vivaldi’s Four Seasons is one of my favourites. I really grew up listening to that. I think it reaches people like that. I feel like most songs I love are so personal but I don’t think I could write about anything else. I just really like to write the truth. I’m kind of obsessed with truth, and my music is a search for truth in a sense.
You listen to a lot of the old greats- Dylan, Simon and Garfunkel, how much does that inspire you?
That’s not what directly inspires me, I think just because you listen to a certain kind of music doesn’t mean that that’s your inspiration. I think that I derive inspiration just from experience, everything that happens to me, even just eating dinner. I mean I don’t think you sit down to write a song with the intention of sounding like someone else.
But I think it is an undercurrent.
Absolutely.
You’ve said that you write true lyrics, to help you cope with things in life- do you think this needs to happen for the listener as well as the artists? Kind of what we’ve been saying. Do you think the listener always needs to relate to the lyrics to appreciate it?
No I think it can be appreciated just solidly, I often get from people that listening to my music is like watching a movie, when they listen to it they actually see pictures, which is really interesting. So there’s a lot of enegery, which I think you can appreciate. I don’t think you have to have experience in something to even understand it. You don’t have to be in a war to understand a war and feel something from it, it might not be as dramatic but you can certainly feel something. But I think sometimes it touches people more, like Gray or Blue I get so many people like “that is exactly like my relationship.. I am gray or blue!”
It is such a true song!
I get people email me just to update me on their romances, it’s so funny.
Like a living soap opera in your email account.
I’m just like holy shit, there’s just so many people in relationships with people they don’t want to be with. It’s kind of sad.
It’s an easy mistake to make though, but such a terrible one.
(chortle)
You were going to become a publisher before you went into music, or you wanted to at least?
Wow you really did your research!
Do you think you’ll ever go back to that? Obviously through literature you can find the same sort of connection with people, but it’s not the same. Would you want to go back into that after this? Or both at the same time?
I wouldn’t want a job in publishing anymore. I love books so much I always want to be around them. Deep down I wanted to be a musician but I didn’t have the will to perform, and now that I do and I am a performer, and this is the way I make my living, I eventually want to write a book, but I really want to get married have kids and just keep playing music.
Maybe even move back to New York…
Move to New York and just walk around. I don’t really want a job now. (laughs)
It’s so crazy if you become a publisher, you are making your living off what other people do. Like this isn’t my living, it’s non profit, but I’m making something from what you do. And in a way you’re making something from what other people have done.
Well that’s what art is really, it’s just a reaction to something else.
Yeah I think so. What do you think you’ll react to next?
Well I really have been writing songs for so long I just want to record what I’ve already written. I’m writing on the road and I’d really just like to get it recorded. I mean I’m writing everyday, just about stuff that’s happening. I definitely feel that my song-writing is changing, absolutely, even just because I’m getting better at guitar playing every day. I’ve been taking quotes from books and putting them in songs. That’s my new thing.
I get the impression that the album was about a relationship, and you’ve kind of moved through it. And after that you’re moving on in life, and then writing about that, so there’s obviously going to be a big change- what you’re doing now is touring and playing music, are the songs going to be about that, or living away from home…
That’s stuff I’m writing about already, yeah.
So is that big change coming across in the music?
Do you mean is the sound changing? It’s really changing.
I don’t ever see myself sitting down and being like ‘here’s the record I’m going to make’, it’s more of a compilation- it’s such a process of finishing songs I’ve already written, and writing songs that I started maybe two years ago and finishing them now, it’s not a whole vision, or at least not yet. What I enjoy is just the process of writing. I just like to keep writing and keep writing and then look at it later. But I’m doing this new thing where I’m taking literature like William Blake’s poem Tyger Tyger and I took a bunch of lines from that poem and put them in a song about Philippe Petit the guy who walked across the world trade centre on a tight rope. A lot of it’s a lot of literature, I’m reading so much on the train.
Literature art and music just cross over so much. I’ve just today, after a complete mental block, that for my art project I’m going to illustrate a book of my poems. I’d conditioned myself into thinking that I had to do a big painting but that wasn’t the case at all, the exam was a lot more flexible.
I think you have to be prepared to be flexible too, that’s what I mean about committing myself to a theme for a record. Even like when your shows change, or moving to London. Life’s very unpredictable.
I know a lot of people do it, but it seems just such a bizarre concept that you’re living your life just going round and playing music. It’s such a good thing.
I think it’s a good thing, sure. (laughs)
Is there any reason you didn’t draw yourself as playing music as yourself at your happiest?
Well I thought it would be too obvious. This is a gateway to writing, this is where it starts.

Interview- Ali Hewson & Polly O'shea; Image- Greg Wilson

We Are Scientists Interview

Maybe not so sadly, I had to chop this interview right down as it just delved more and more deeply into the realms of insanity, and was about an hour long. I think it was for the best.

If you could be half animal half man, which half would be what, and what would the animal half be?
It doesn’t matter what or who you are if you’re in prison because you just become a nobody. A number. Have ANY of you read Les Mis?
That’s a horrible attitude towards half animals half men.
What sort of tripe is this? I see a half man half animal I either gun it down, or if I’m feeling especially generous, I put it in prison for the rest of its life.
What if it was a centaur?
A CENTUAR? I gun it down. You’ll never take a centaur alive, that’s what I’ve learnt.
What about if you lived in Narnia and met Mr Tumnus?
If I lived in Narnia I would have hanged myself long ago out of madness.
It’s true.
It’s true. You can’t live like that.
There’s not much of a social scene in Narnia. What about an absolute though- death or half animal, would you choose death?
I’d be half animal.
At least you’ve got the choice, what if someone told you that you have to be half man half guppie?
Guppie?
It’s a really small tropical fish.
That would be a real pickle of a situation because you would always have to live right near the surface of the water, so that both halves of your body could survive.
It’s sort of a ridiculous question- of course you’d choose half man half animal, because you could always kill yourself later.
What if you didn’t have any hands? Half man half worm, and you only had legs?
You could hang yourself in your own body. Or put yourself underneath a moving car.
Or drown yourself. Or dry yourself out?
Do worms have mouths?
Yes of course. How else would they speak?
How different do you find the reception in England from that in the US?
That was a bit of a left turn.
Pretty god damn indecipherably similar.
I wouldn’t say the music scene over here was the same though. We don’t seem to have so much sleaze.
You’re much more clinical.
What about Johnny Borrel? That dude is SLEAZE personified.
Not really. He’s still quite straight edged. He’s in the charts..and dates Hollywood actresses.
But ones that everyone knows have horrible STDs.
He’s going out with Kirsten Dunst.
STD HOTEL!
They have hotels?
To keep them alive to make time to study them later.
Well somebody’s got to.
It’s quite noble really.
Well, she is one of our most noble actresses.
Rex Regan!
Rex Regan is a noble actor?
No, for putting him up in her hotel.
If you could be any part in any film ever made what part would you be?
I would reprise Tom Selluck’s role in Quigly Down Under.
I’d be Tom Selluck’s role in Three Men One Lady.
He had it all figured out.
He certainly did. He finally learnt to balance family and career.
Could you not just balance your family and career anyway, so you could pick a different character with superhuman powers?
My character does have superhuman properties. He can shoot his rifle a mile and a quarter. This is an old school rifle, not a fancy marine sniper rifle.
Isn’t that the rifle’s skills?
No. This is like 1890s Australia.
Well that’s quite a skill.
He’s also just very roguish and charming, gets out of scrapes.

Interview- Ali Hewson & Polly O'Shea; Words- Ali Hewson

The Voluntary Butler Scheme Interview

This man is Pure Genius. These songs will become the soundtrack to the life you wish you lived and have you combust into dance. I cannot praise it enough. Just bloody listen to him, ok?

Rob now plays as a one-man band, looping and multi-tracking all his instruments and vocals. And I’m so glad he made that change. Now, I know there’s a fair few people coming up and doing this, but having seen a wide range of what’s out there…Rob is the best. The Best. Timing. Lyrics. Poignancy. Fun. Riff. Charm. Truth. Beats. Rhymes. When I first heard him play, I felt like an empty void in my life had been filled beautifully. I hope you get that as well.

For this interview, I gathered an assortment of food and drink for Rob to match each part of his one-man-band self to.

Yep. Match each band member to what piece of food you think it would be, then eat them in order of preference.
So like, what the drummer in me would most like to eat?
What best represents them.
(Rob laughs. On reflection, I see this may have been confusing.)
Some of them are quite easy, like these pencil sweets. And lips and teeth…and lances.
Ah ha, so there’s a real answer?
No, it’s not a test. Just some of them could be obvious choices…like lips and teeth for voice. But you don’t have to pick that.
Well the pencils would be the drummer. I think they’d make good drumsticks.
(umms and ah’s, rummages through the pile. Rob chances upon the strawberry lances.)
For when you’re feeling Knightly.
Wow this is tough. Are those apricots?
Yep. And plums, satsumas, cherries, and a Danish pastry. And gin and tonics, premixed. In cans.
Ahhh. So I’ve got the drumsticks for the drums. How many band members do I have?
I dunno, that’s why I got a lot. You seem to play a lot of different instruments.
Well, I think these should be the ukulele player. (Picks up the cherries). Because they’re kind of Ukulele sized.
I suppose you could split it off- you’ve got a deep voice, a high voice….
I think these would be the front man.
The gin and tonics?
Yeah, because I think I need to loosen up a little bit. It’s quite rock and roll isn’t it. Err…this is tough isn’t it.
Sorry, it’s a little bit obscure. But I thought it would be quite fun.
I think these should be the guitarist, Hendrix style, you know (Teeth and Lips sweets), teeth on the guitar. Quite showbiz.
Oooo, I see what you’re aiming for here…loosening up, rock and roll antics…
Yeah, I’m not what I want to be at all. (chortle) Oh, these can be the piano player, like strings in the piano. (Strawberry lances) Can the fruit be as a whole?
Depends how many things you’ve got left I guess.
What have we done…lead singer, ukulele, piano
Drums, guitar…
Ah. I think the frog should be the deep singer. I can quite see a frog as a deep backing singer. (Freddo chocolate bar) It would be nice to have a backing singer actually. (looks quizzically at the Danish pastry.)
That could be the crash symbol.
Or the bass player. Druggy base player. So we’ve got a bass player now, that’s good. Who else do you have in a band? I haven’t been in a band for so long…(laughs)
Well this is your personal one man band.
Oh yeah. So I need a keyboard player.
Well what does front man count as? Because you might still have voice types…you’ve done deep voice, but you’ve got high voice left.
Lady singer. These are quite ladylike?
Plums?
Are they? Are plums a derogatory term for breasts? They’re not are they.
I think it’s any fruit really. Peaches.
Ok. Well the plums can be the lady singer. Oh wait!
(Now follows a rummage in his bag, and then Rob produces some shakers shaped like strawberries and grapes)
Oh wow, those are brilliant!
I bought them yesterday. They’re great aren’t they.
I’ve got some of them but made from seed pods.
Oh really?
Those are better though.
So um…
Apricots. Apricots are a bit unpopular I think.
They’re just yoghurt aren’t they.
Just little specks of fruit.
So what instrument’s got yoghurt?
You haven’t done your kazoo yet…or harmonica.
What could I do for the kazoo?
It’s quite niche. Bit quirky, not everyone likes it.
That’s true. Like an apricot. Not everyone likes apricot yoghurt. So that can be the kazoo. Poor kazoo.
And this can be…
Satsumas. You’ve got the harmonica left. Everyone likes to try it, but not everyone’s good at it. But satsumas are quite a widely eaten fruit.
True, yeah yeah.
They’d match the guitar more.
It’s kind of like peeling them though isn’t it. Not everybody’s got the nails for it.
Like not everybody having the harmonica skills. Sorted.
Now you have to, in order of preference of all the things they represent, consume them.
Oh no. Hah. Can I do this after I’ve played?
Yeah. It’s not a vital part of the interview, it was just an excuse for you to eat them really. Do you not like eating before you play?
Not really. I don’t like being bloated. Do you want me to orderise them though?
You can do. You don’t have to eat them though.
I think I’d probably go for the swirl first. Tesco bakery.
I wanted to ask, right after you sing we listen to –something, I can’t make out what it is- on your mp3 player…
Oh, La Bamba?
Yeah, I could never make out what you were saying.
La la la la la la bamba, do doo do do. Yeah, it’s a good song.
Hahah. But in the next bit, ‘and I’ll tell you all I know, about stacking shelf upon shelf upon shelf upon shelf’, is that from your supermarket days?
Ah, no. I’ve never thought about that actually, that’s quite good. I was thinking about you know when you put things on the shelf, put it on hold, give it time…
That’s probably a bit more meaningful. Did you work in Tescos, is that why you like the bakery goods?
No, Sainsbury’s. If you go on my myspace page, in the top friends there’s a free E.P. that I made, The Voluvant E.P and there’s a song on there that talks about an aroman metro.
An aroman metro?
Yeah, it’s a car.
Oh, I’m not great on car types. Well, good.
(Rob does croaky laugh)
Do you like volauvants?
No, not really.
They remind me of my childhood. The ones with mushroom in them…the idea of it was really appealing like ‘mmmm mushroom’ then you’d taste it and the pastry was all like defrosted and then cooked…horrible and tasteless. They weren’t good times.
So what would come next after the pastry?
Oh, umm..probably the pencils.
So is this what you prefer to eat, or what you prefer playing?
Oh. Well I better rethink this. Probably my least favourite thing in public is being a singer. (laughs) I really like singing, but I’m pretty new to being a singer.
But you’ve got a really good voice?
But it’s kind of more like being a vocalist isn’t it.
You’re putting yourself out there a lot more.
Yeah, exactly. I used to play drums in a band and so I’d be at the back. But I’d never get nervous before playing a gig. It’s quite nice to get nervous now. Like, ‘ahh, what’s going to happen’. So yeah, I think my least favourite thing would be singing, and my favourite thing is the guitar. No wait, drums first.
The pencils. They’re the best sweet too. And the blue ones.
Yeah exactly. So bass above singing. No, bass is probably last.
What about if it’s funky bass….
Yeah funky bass, that’s true.
Bass players nationwide get angry.
What were these again? (picks up the cherries)
Ukulele.
Oh yeah, I quite like that. That’s after drums. Harmonica’s fun. What were these?
Kazoo.
You’ve got a good memory going on there.
It feels like a game.
These were…
Lady voice.
Oh yeah (laughs). I like deep voice, although it’s hard to do. So deep voice next. Then lady voice. Oh piano, I really like playing the piano. So piano just below the drums. Let’s go drums, piano, ukulele, guitar, deep voice, lady voice, harmonica, bass, then singing at the bottom.
You’ve missed out the kazoo, shit.
Oh. I’ll put it in at about number four.
Have you ever heard of the Spinto Band?
Spinto Band? Yeah!
They do kazoos.
Do they have kazoos?
Yeh, they have a whole song with them.
Really?
I haven’t heard anything about them in ages actually. I saw them in Norwich…maybe supporting the Mystery Jets?
I think they probably did, yeah.
That was like two years ago… I don’t remember the details much. But they were on Jools Holland the night before the gig.
That’s the thing about support bands, you often don’t pay much attention at the time but afterwards you’re like, ‘oh, it was THAT band’.
That was the thing about Tuesday (Joe Lean gig) you and Beggars were both so so good, I couldn’t forget it.
Did you get the Beggars vinyl?
Yeah, but the stick thing on my vinyl player has broken so it skips.
The drummer’s wicked. I’ve made really good friends with him.
Yeah they were lovely. I mean, opening with a cover of Leonard Cohen, and releasing it as a single, is no mean feat. I thought they did it really well. Right. I’ve got some questions as well now if that’s ok. They’re a bit all over the place, because I did them on limited information.
Ok.
If you were volunteering to be a butler for anyone, who would it be?
Luis Prima. He sings the ‘I’m the king of the swingers…’ (jungle book)
Oh yeah!
His records are really really good. There’s loads of songs on there, like ‘please don’t squeeze a banana’. Me and my mate love it ‘I won’t squeeze on a grape’ (sings in contralto).
Like when people are buying fruit and are testing it for ripeness.
It doesn’t make much sense. It might make sense to him…
Well sometimes when you’re singing a song you can just get carried away and sing anything.
Yeah, I like gibberish. I’ve got loads of gibberish in my songs. (sings)Doomba doomba doomba day…(chuckle)
I love your lyrics. I was going to bring you a broccoli with a face drawn onto it. Hahah.
They seem to come out as warped love songs.
Have you ever unravelled a jumper for someone?
No (laughs)
You should do. I like that. What is your favourite jumper?
I got it in San Francisco actually. It’s yellow black and grey.
Stripy?
Yeah, really really stripy. I didn’t bring it on tour actually, I should have done. It’s really colourful, it’s got black, yellow, red…I don’t know how to describe it, it’s sort of woven.
Wool?
Yeah, it’s wool. That lyric came from this time with my old band when we were playing in Leeds, and afterwards we slept on this girl’s floor, and I was sleeping in this jumper because…
You wanted to?
Yeah, because I wanted to, and I was on the floor. And my mate was closer to this bottle of water than I was and he was like ‘can you pass me that bottle of water’ and I was like ‘Oh yeah, just wait while I unravel my jumper and lasso it.’ And then the next day I was trying to remember the line in my head.
So have you been writing these songs for a long time, or just storing the ideas?
I don’t know, I never really spend long doing it- they’re all sort of half an hour songs. I write things down in my little book, and then when I’ve got a tune I’ll just look in the book and try and find the words that fit.
That’s a good way to do it.
I only stopped playing in other bands in February, and then doing this I only played my first gig in October, and I only had about twelve songs and they were all really rubbish (laughs). So all of a sudden my aim was to write some really good songs…so I ended up with about thirty.
I don’t know if this is a good thing to do or not, but I think it was Bob Dylan who said if you’re writing songs you should aim to write ten a day, one of which you keep. But I like keeping everything…hahaha. And I wouldn’t be able to write that much anyway.
Do you play music then?
Yeah I do. I’ve been thinking actually, since listening to your music, that you are living the dream. I’d love to learn how to multi track, I play pretty much the same instruments as you except the guitar, and add saxophone and clarinet. But I’m always thinking of ideas that need multi tasking to the extreme. So yep, you’re living the dream.
It’s really quite simple! But you know, every time I play a gig with a band there’s always one band member who wants to be playing more than they are.
Well most people are multi-instrumentalists. You know, if you’re interested in music you will probably have tried out lots of different things.
I often feel pressurised to do things with other people but I’m trying to stick to my guns.
Yeah, like with that song you were playing earlier (Split) I was thinking how good it would sound with a girls voice in certain places, but then I thought how stupid it would be because it would take away the whole essence of what you do.
A girl’s voice on the loop part, or simultaneously or what?
I don’t know, it just sounded like with the deep voice and guitar at the start, quite traditional… um…
Like 50s doo-wop sort of thing?
Yeah, and you could imagine a sort of girl-boy swap over. But you could do that with your own voice, or different pitched instruments or whatever. But I was like poising my mind to expect to hear a girl’s voice come in…but then you finished. Haha.
Yeah yeah, I was just testing a few different bars at a time. I can never be bothered to play songs all the way through on sound check. You don’t really need to when you’re on your own; you just need to check that everything works.
The sound people would probably get pissed off as well.
Yeah. Some bands do go through the whole set…but it kind of takes the fun out of it. If you’re doing it on your own, once you’ve done it once that day…
Exactly. And there’s not really an atmosphere to be playing to. Just a dark room.
I feel at more and more gigs that I just want to piss around instead of playing the songs.
Well that’s just what you’re going to have to do.
Yep.
I looked up where you lived…it’s an exciting place. And I don’t actually mean that sarcastically. I live in the middle of nowhere. But, I thought that Stourbridge seemed to epitomise the archaic stereotypes of childhood dreams.
(Laughs) That’s not how I’d picture it...
But you’ve got Railway trains…that’s it really….(chortle).
The railway’s miles away though.
Really? I suppose I didn’t actually look at the map…I’m not really a big map reader. I was wondering if growing up there had any effect on you, because I kind of thought that the thoughts you seem to have are kind of childlike in the way that they are like how a child’s mind would work or look at things, that imagination, but for adult experiences, like love, because you’re an adult.
It is really nice. You know what, I do hope to leave there, but I still haven’t got in a position where I could leave there and err...
Survive?
Yeah, I suppose survive is a good word for it. (chortle) There’s like a really small part of it that’s really nice, I’d like to live there.
Could you not move there?
Not really. There’s a couple of little centre points, like there’s a really nice gig called Patti Piestellos which I love to play, the people down there are really cool. But apart from that it’s sort of small town, white shirts Saturday night….But anywhere you are you have to look for the good bits.
Well kind of related to that, seeing as there’s so much to do there…if you had to spend a day there, what would you do? I’ve got some options for you that you can choose from. You can…Go check out the steam trains, have a ride.
Yeah! (Sounds enthused)
Or go to the non-stop sponsored Bible reading that’s happening next month…
That sounds great, wow.
Ballroom dancing classes? The international festival of glass. Or counselling.
I think I’m good for counselling. Glass…I forgot about that actually. My friend’s a glass blower. People move down from Australia just to do the glass blowing. I’ve never been there, so why not? Then maybe we should ignore Stourbridge. Forget it exists.
I don’t know, there’s a lot going on. Talking of embracing society, if you could then make your own activities club, what would it be? And you can’t say butler training.
I think I’d put together an army to knit some jumpers.
I’m knitting a scarf at the moment. It’s red, green and brown.
I used to love brown. I’ve gone off brown in recent times (sounds perplexed).
I can imagine it suiting your colourings. I do prefer brighter colours though. That’s my dream, to knit a big scarf of ALL the colours. Hahaha, ‘my dream’. I had to stop knitting this one because I realised I was concentrating on the scarf, not my work, and this scarf was going to emerge that would be representative of my failure in life. So you’ve got one member of your army down.
It’s going to be like a sweat shop.
Not leisurely?
No, no, leisurely. Just like ‘come in here for twenty minutes’.

Interview & Words- Ali Hewson

Noah and the Whale Interview

Do you think the name Noah and the Whale reflects life- in a very strange parallel to the biblical stories…I thought, there is Noah and the Ark, and I don’t know whether you intended it to mean this, but he was leading people on to a better life...rejuvenation, cleansing...blah blah blah…and then Jonah and the Whale, who is stuck in a whale. So do you think the band name is a kind of very strange parallel to the fact that you’re leading people on through your music yet we’re all stuck in the big whale of the world, society and mortality?
Charlie: Well it wasn’t the initial reason behind the name...but it’s much better (chortle chortle)
Urby: We might nick that for other interviews!
Charlie: I think the beautiful thing about words is that no matter what you mean to say, you’re always going to link to something. So if that’s what it means to you, then that’s what it means. Do you know what I mean?
Do you think it’s a concept that applies to life as well?
Charlie: Do I think that concept is true? What’s the main jist? That we are leading people…
To better things, new directions. But at the same time, inevitably we are all just stuck.
C: that’s interesting
Urby: It’s quite a big thing to put on our shoulders.
Well maybe not just musicians…everyone in life
C: well part of what I try to say I guess is to look beyond the ‘whale’ in an unconventional way. For example, a lot of stuff that comes up is about death. So essentially we are trying to escape from this whale…I don’t know, I’ve always been terrified of death- I’m not a religious person but I’ve heard a song that talks about the physical continuation of your body, in its most base as fertiliser or whatever to this.
U: but I don’t think we’re stuck, time is just continuous.
Well kind of what I meant by asking was do you think there is a whale or do you think we’re not stuck at all?
C: umm, I just don’t care, to be honest. I think it’s interesting, but it’s just so abstract… I don’t know. If we’re talking about OUR music, then it’s probably more humane than that.
Fiddle: We wouldn’t want to lead anyone in any direction…
I didn’t mean it like you personally are leading them, but the concept of the arts as something to guide.
C: the light in the whale’s dark stomach.
F: Well music and art are the only sort of abstract things we have, that can sort of guide you in your journey of life.
U: are you asking us about the meaning of life basically? Because we don’t know! (Chortle)
Well I needed to start with that abstract one, as I’m now going to use that idea through the rest of my questions. Sorry, I didn’t mean it to be so demanding!
U: don’t worry, it’s probably the best interview we’ve had so far.
Well ok. If you had your own ark, what would you be sailing towards?
C: hmmm, I think I’d just sail. An ark’s a pretty amazing thing. It would be pretty self-sufficient. If you got hungry you could just eat some giraffe…
As long as they’d already bred…hahahaa.
U: I would be great to do a tour on an ark. Because we’ve got this tour bus now that’s a bit like an ark on wheels. It’s very self sufficient. It’s got beds…TVs…
C: hahaaa is that what you call self-sufficient, beds and TVs?
U: it’s got a toilet…and all your friends there. Tour by ark would be cool.
Ahh well that kind of leads onto my next questions. I’ve got lots of ark questions. In fact, they are all ark questions.
If you had a destination, would it matter if you ever reached it, or would it just be nice to kind of roll along.
C: I think once you’ve reached one destination you’re going to want to find another destination anyway.
U: you never get there and keep trying, or you get there and look for a new destination.
F: it’s always ongoing; you’ll never actually reach your destination.
C: it would be pretty good to be sailing anyway...so…
Would you have every animal on board, as is the tradition of arks?
U: I don’t think we’d discriminate.
C: we could get logical here…I mean there are a lot of tiny crabs that live in caves in Thailand…when are we going to go pick them up?
Well I am imagining it to be like the Men in Black locker, you’d just have one on board full of an animal world.
C: Oh ok, yeah. (Looks of relief all round)
U: Donkeys would be a lot harder to get onboard, because of their stubbornness.
F: what’s a mule?
U: a donkey and a horse
F: well you wouldn’t need a mule then, just a donkey and a horse.
U: but then you’re damaging the chance of procreation…
Is that a good attitude to have in life though- because they might be stubborn and difficult to manoeuvre, you won’t have them on the ark?
U: but you’re asking us to collect a whole world full of species, I’d rather save some than none.
Well it’s not really saving them as it isn’t in the context of a flood. You’ve just got a massive ark of some kind- that being a very ambiguous term for…something.
U: well I’d like to look after things if we were going to take them onboard.
C: would you save any of the damned humans? Like say you’ve got your pool-buddy
U: pool-buddy?!
C: I don’t know, whatever…But god’s like, you’ve got this ark, you can take your family and a bunch of animals, but Steve can’t come. What would you do? Would you try and stash Steve away somewhere?
You could put Steve inside a whale?
U: I’d do what Odysseus did; he escaped the Cyclops’ cave by clinging underneath a massive ram.
F: did they escape?
U: yeah, all of them did. Other than the ones that got eaten. So yeah, I’d probably try and smuggle Steve in like that.
Well that was one of my questions actually…
C: about Steve? How do you know Steve?
U: are you pool-buddies as well?!
Hahaha
He’s been lying to you. We play snooker together.
U: surely not!
He doesn’t really like pool…the whole concept of it disgusts him. Sorry. But yes, if you could each bring one person with you, who would it be? Would you in fact bring anyone at all?
F: are us three going to be there?
Yes.
F: so the whole of Noah and the Whale is there, all five of us.
And all the animals in the world…
F: all the animals in the world, and we can bring one other person...
C: for me it’s good, because my brothers in the band- so I’ll bring mum and he can bring dad. Whereas you guys are going to have to decide which parent.
F: ooooo.
C: or brother or sister?
Well it’s not really saving them though…the ark is whatever you want it to be. Everyone else in the world isn’t going to die.
C: so this isn’t the biblical story, we’re not actually Noah and family. So what’s the ark doing?
That’s for you to decide…
C: Ah well then I wouldn’t want to bring my mum and dad.
U: I’d bring a musician. Someone respected.
C: They might not want to come!
You can make the rules…
C: Maybe someone like Ray Mears, if you didn’t know where you were going to go. I’m not a very hands-on person.
C: Have you seen Into the Wild, the film?
(Silence)
F: I’d probably bring a zoo keeper.
U: a zoo keeper?!
C: That’s true actually. Someone to look after all the animals.
U: someone to shovel all the manure.
But would you pay them?
F: they get room and board.
U: do we get to keep one animal at the end of the tour? Like our favourite one? It’s a tough one. I’d probably take a really good chef. Jamie Oliver.
Erghh!
C: but he’s so annoying! You need someone who’s good at cooking loads of different foods.
Surely you should take a woman chef.
U: Why a woman chef?
Because then you can breed onboard.
U: well when you put it like that…I’ll go with you. You probably cook much better than I do.
C: you should bring Nigella Lawson
F: I’d bring Scarlett Johansson. That’s just top preference.
C: she wouldn’t want to come! She’s busy.
But this is a crazy magical ark that could be taking you up into the skies…or underwater…anywhere you want to go!
C: But would she be into that?
She might be?
C: I think she’d be a drag. She’d just be doing her makeup and whinging.
Couldn’t you lie? Bribe her in, like in King Kong. ‘It’s for a film…yeahhh errr…’ And then just take her on some crazy trek.
(Small dispute over the colour of daffodils. Apparently they would look good in ‘yeti blue’. Mmhmmmm….)
What music would you play to the animals on the ark, to nurture them, help them grow up strong…?
C: I’d play something soothing. If you played prodigy or something they’d get really…
Angsty?
C: exactly.
F: I’d probably play something classical, just to get them calm.
C: or that animal collective EP that they recorded in the forest, it’s called cabride? Songs. They recorded it in the woods so there’s loads of background noise on it.
So it would be quite homely for them. But you’ve got quite a lot of animals there…if you played rainforest noises, polar bears wouldn’t really…
C: they’d be freaking out. They’d be like, ‘what the hell is that’.
What would the ark be? Would it be a boat? A magical ship-plane…
F: A surfboard. It would be a surfboard.
C: would it be a surfboard with a…what do you call those things for holidays when it’s on top of your car…
U: I’d like a Swiss chalet.
Flying?
U: no no no, on water. (As if this was the obvious norm?) A massive crimson Swiss chalet with lots of wood and open fires, open plan…
F: you could water-ski out the back.
I had a vision like that, strangely. When I was about ten we went on holiday to Italy and I spent the whole two weeks drawing pictures and pictures of this big house thing that flew, and the stockrooms and all the things on it… Very fun indeed for a ten year old.
C: exciting
I could have been immersing myself in the culture…
C: maybe it’s more like a giant peach
I’m actually fulfilling my life dream in this interview. (chortle) Ahh…yep. So, a massive surfboard storage thing, crossed with a chalet…
C: with some peach as well
Made out of peach?
U: You’ve got to really use your mind…but when you get there it’s great.
C: Maybe a giant orange, because the surface would keep fresh for longer than a peach.
U: it would be cool to have some extra fruit trees on board as well. And a cabbage patch.
C: if this is complete fantasy, why not just have a proper garden? Just a big house and acres of garden
U: an orchard.
F: so it’s basically an island.
C: yeah, a floating island. There was that TV programme with that island you could steer and a polar bear?
Ahh yeah, that used to really freak me out. The animals were all quite creepy. On that note, we’ve got a bit of an environmental theme that sometimes comes out…So in terms of what you would eat- would it be self sustainable, and do you think that’s a good thing?
U: a very interesting question.
C: I want to bring a McDonald’s on. (hah)
U: I always prefer eating healthier foods. I feel better after doing it…and they taste better.
C: we all agreed the other day that our favourite food type was Italian food
You could have your own wheat field and make your own pasta?
U: and bring an Italian chef?
F: cheese, you’d need cheese though.
You could have cows and goats?
F: but what are they going to eat?
C: Italian food? Pasta? Seeds?
And it would have to be vegan Bolognese and stuff; otherwise it would defeat the point of saving the animals.
C: unless there was one particularly bad cow.
You’ve been really naughty! Munch munch…
U: or if it told really bad jokes.
When you’re on the ark, what would you be doing to pass your time?
U: well Charlie would be playing with stuff that I wouldn’t be happy about.
C: just to clear that up, that’s playing play station games.
I think if we’d got a garden I’d probably walk about, write some songs, make pasta, and pick fruit…
You probably wouldn’t have that much spare time actually, what with looking after all the animals.
C: we’d be very busy.


[ (Now moves to drawing talk. See www.myspace.com/cbmagazine )
U: I’m covering happiness and my aspirations too.
C: if you wanted, you could add this to the kid’s category, as I’m drawing like a ten year old. This is why I started playing guitar instead.
That’s why modern art is invented. ]



Interview & Words- Ali Hewson